On October 30th, the night before All Hallow's Eve...of all nights, a cadre of extremely dangerous prisoners "psychiatric patients" were being transferred to an ultra maximum security medieval dungeon penitentiary...when the bus ironically mysteriously crashed.
(A Halloween Eve Prison Bus Crash...when you're already late.)
The big heads over at Smith's Grove probably should've learned from the ol' Trick 'r Treat Halloween Bus Crash Massacre....NEVER RIDE IN A BUS AROUND HALLOWEEN TIME.
But noooo...they didn't watch Trick 'r Treat...they didn't avoid an epic Spooktober crash-tastrophe...nah. 🎶So they loaded up the truck & they moved to Beverly. Crash that is...Flippin' Buses...Movie Style.🎶
(Actual footage of said crash with brightness adjusted so you can see the cool flips better.)
After that crash down boom explosion flippy gimmick...what if one of the psychos lived...and what if they escaped?
(Bish said "Right before Samhain...bus full of psychos mysteriously crashed." OKAY. 😶 Next bish gon' be like "...and one of'em escaped custody." MMM HMM.- Diamond & Silk)
Upon arrival, so-called "local authorities" (Deputy Doofy, Officer Barbrady, Chief Wiggum, & Barney Fife) found that the prison guards & state policemen escorting the transfer were all dead while most of the nutters passengers/prisoners/patients were alive...seemingly...hopefully...lingering about nearby and no further.
(PoPo showed up like...)
Some of the survivors had wounds ranging from punctures & cuts from broken glass n' twisted metal to more severe injuries like broken arms, legs, and deep lacerations.
(You'll be ite, bub.)
While others were either pinned in or unable to physically get up...apparently, the lucky ones simply sat up like The Undertaker & sauntered right on out of the wreckage, totally unscathed...like Bruce Willis in Unbreakable...or Austin Aries poppin' up & no-selling immediately after taking the new Champ's finisher.
(That face when a Death Match Wrestling Veteran no sells a bus crash & walks off.)
Passerbyers called 9/11 when they saw this:
("Look honey, the locals are offering to wash our windows. How kind of them!" - Clark Grizwald)
When EMT's arrived...most of the survivors sort of lingered around the wreckage while a few the of dazed inmates were observed wandering off while muttering to themselves like Mumbles from Dick Tracy; a couple were fighting, like pooches in a game of tug 'o' war, over a dead police officer's baton, a handful of the others were moseying over into the nearby woods, and one skitso was totally in awe by the sight of butterflies fluttering in the headlights.
(Awe, it's the guy kid from those Shriners guilt trips commercials & he's being attacked in awe of a deadly poisonous beautiful butterfly!)
Shortly thereafter, a headcount was taken and the numbers just weren't adding up. The sudden realization that there were now several lunatics on the loose on the night before Hallowe'en sent a chill down the spines of those few who knew about this dire situation & just how dangerous these missing madmen are. What was most terrifying of all was the fact that the craziest of the escapees was now lurking out there in the night's shade. (And no, we're not talking about The Boogeyman right now.) This demented danger's shoot name is Toby Klein but he was known to his victims by his in-ring alias: "MISTER INSANITY."(Buy this Exclusive Poster HERE.)
(See...we told y'all they'd tell us "one of'em done escaped the wreck & is at large!" YUP. - Diamond & Silk)
On October 31st, Nichol's Hardware Store was broken into.
When asked if there were any connection between the break-in & the missing patient, Sheriff Bracket said "Somebody broke into the hardware store...probably kids. All they took was some Halloween candy, lighter fluid, & an axe...who do you think it was?" Uh...*Cough* Mr. Insanity Toby Klein *Cough*...who knows, Sheriff.
("The robbery of actual murder weapons & ButterFinger Minis from Muh Nards certainly isn't linked to the escaped insane asylum inmate who has yet to be apprehended. Move it along now." - Dean Ambrose's Dad, Sheriff Bracket)
Today, obviously Halloween has now passed...so you would think you'd be safe but Toby doesn't care what holiday it is. If you have a rotted pumpkin...he's going to find it...and he's going to split it open! He might even splatter your old moldy Jack 🎃' Lantern while he's at it!
(If you didn't understand that double entendre...Samuel L. Jackson is going to cuss louder.)
You read that right...unlike a certain masked psychopath...Mister Insanity doesn't give a damn 'bout Halloween, Day of the Dead, Guy Fawkes Day, 4th of July, Easter Sunday, or any holidays really...he just likes choppin' vegetables, bruisin' fruits, & splittin' open domes like rotted 🎃s. The Shape may be trapped in a make shift oven (maybe not)...but this patient is still on the prowl. So that means you better keep the lights on, lock the doors, wear a helmet, & plop that carved-up grody gourd in t̶h̶e̶ ̶t̶r̶a̶s̶h̶ your neighbor's trash. No need to tease the man(iac).
Remember...Halloween might be over but TOBY's still coming for you, Barbara!
Available EXCLUSIVELY at Diehard Designs!
Each piece is Made Fresh to Order!
Comes in Globally Sourced or American Made.
Chose from 21 Different T-Shirt colors & a Black Hooded Fleece Pullover.
Click HERE to order The Rotted Pumpkin Splitter Apparel.
Click HERE to order The Rotted Pumpkin Splitter Poster.
Click HERE to order The Ironic Halloween Even Prison Bus Crash Survivor Award Poster.
<- PREVIOUS ARTICLE NEXT ARTICLE ->