Have you seen this man? Or should we say...maniac? Homeless Jimmy is his name these days and if you're a wrestling fan, then you already know that. On rare occasions, one can spot him standing on a corner, holding a discarded pizza box top as a make shift sign that reads in, sloppy marker writing: "Will Wrestle For Food." And wrestle, he does...backing down from no man & fighting in bouts with any sort of sadistic stipulation that pimp-like promoters can come up with. He wasn't always this way. At one time, he was...well, normal. Back in the day, he discovered his first love was a former adult film star and he lost his damn mind. Down the tubes went the ol' "graduate from college, find a good paying job with insurance & a 401k, get married, start a family, have kids, and a buy that cute little house with the white picket fence." gimmick. A rage began to build as the heartbroken intellectual found no escape from the mental torment. Jimmy ended up dropping out of school & joined the military, hoping to get his mind focused on something else & release his frustrations in a positive manner. Once through basic, he was deployed to fight George Bush's Gulf War in the 90's...and that's where his "Peter Parker-vs-Radioactive Spider" moment occurred...as he was hit with a nasty blast of Iraqi nerve gas. This left him with a noticeable involuntary twitch and an insatiable addiction for pain infliction. The twist is, he's not just wanting to hurt himself...he wants to hurt others...and he might want to hurt YOU!
If you happen to find him, contact authorities and do not, by any means, attempt to approach, assist, or apprehend this dangerous & elusive "Ultraviolent Vagrant." Sure, at first, the name itself may not sound very intimidating to the uninformed. One might be thinking "What the hell's a homeless guy gonna do to me? Stink the place up? Lulz." If an unknowing layman happens to underestimate this light tube-loving legend like that...they'll be sorry they didn't do their homework. See, once a moment is taken to step back & contemplate the fact that this man is a complete derelict lunatic with no regard for himself or his opponent...by that time, it's far too late. We're talking "Dr. Loomis, where are you?" -type of madness here. Jimmy has no home, no car, no cell phone, no refrigerator, no washer/dryer combo, no oven, no hot showers, NOTHING that resembles the luxuries of today's "normal" Western lifestyle. Suddenly this undeniable factoid reveals itself to be true...and at that moment you realize that you've severely underestimated this filthily forsaken, forlorn fighter. The mentally & emotionally damaged war & wrestling vet has nothing to fear because he has nothing to loose! There's no hell you can show him that he's not already enjoyed. "The Urchin of Underground Wrestling" sleeps not in a comfy, sheet-covered bed like most of us but instead, on the cold, hard concrete behind inner city restaurants, under bridges, and inside abandoned warehouses. Some would say he's more like a real life Ninja Turtle than an human being with rumors rampantly speculating that he may dwell in the sewers beneath California during the hottest times of the year due to it's cooler climate & never ending supply of rat burgers...not to mention all the spiders he can eat. IF he can be found in the streets, one might see "The Hardcore Hobo" fending off GoPro-toting Bum Fights provocateurs or struggling to win a game of tug-o-war versus a vicious, pit-fighting rottweiler with the winner staking claim to a mostly-meatless leftover bone. Some say they've caught a glimpse of him heroically slipping from the shadow's embrace & beating down pretentious pricks who were finding joy in harassing the destitute & kicking over their fire barrels. On rare & special occasions, one may be lucky to find Homeless Jimmy, in a squared circle, utilizing his mastery of Casey Jones-like weaponry collected from garbage dumpsters, which act as his armory. Opponents of note include The Messiah, "Sick" Nick Mondo, Axl Rotten, Sabu, Vic Grimes, Raven, Abdullah the Butcher, the late John Kronus & Chris Candido, respectively.
With his mind rewired by the military to kill & his pain tolerance & taste for sharing his misery being modified by chemical weapons...this nomadic ninja is a nightmare to be reckoned with. Beware, "The Maniac on the Milk Carton" is out there, somewhere.
Join the search party & help us find Homeless Jimmy with our EXCLUSIVE "THE MANIAC ON THE MILK CARTON" design, a collaboration between the talented Japanese cartoonist, Sei Ozawa, and our Co-Owner/Art Director, Diehard Dustin Lee.
A portion of the subtotal of each piece go to Homeless Jimmy.
Available only at Diehard Designs!
Each piece is Made Fresh to Order!
Does not ship same day. 2-3 business days for production. Ships via USPS or UPS.
100% Cotton High Quality Pre-Shrunk Machine Washable T-Shirt or 90/10 Blend Adult Hooded Fleece Pullover with Full Color Print. Designed in Japan. Conceptualized & Printed in the USA.